When the Rubber Hits the Road…

Not one of us can escape the reality that our life will come to an end. We’ll all die whether it comes quickly without warning, or we’re given time to deal with what’s to come.

Given that it’s something we all must experience, why is it so difficult to talk about?

I should clarify that. It’s become commonplace to see advertising for life insurance, cemetery plots, funeral services and crematoriums – the death part. When death is seen as something not to be worried about until far off into the future is doesn’t seem so ominous to most.

What we seem to struggle with is the time leading up to death when it’s known to be not that far off. On one hand we’re encouraged to write a will, appoint powers of attorney, decide what we would want for ourselves should serious illness be something that we’re faced with.

Does it matter what we want for ourselves? It ought to. In my humble opinion It ought to matter very much. I believe very strongly that we should have a say in how we want the end of our lives to play out. Whether your wish is to have every reasonable measure taken to prolong your life, or your wish is to have little to no intervention to alter the course of your illness (or something between the two), you have a right to speak up for what you deem to be best for yourself.

When dealing with end of life, so many choices are already taken away from us. Serious illness can rob us of our physical abilities, our mobility, our sense of wellbeing, our security, our freedom, our livelihood, our finances, our dignity, our dreams and plans for the future, and even  the company of our family and friends while we’re still here. I personally have been hit on each of these fronts, on some harder than others. And serious illness can, and likely will offer significant consequences in the lives of our loved ones. I need only look into my daughter’s eyes to see how deeply it hurts her to watch me deteriorate in this way, and recognize how my illness has turned her life upside down.

If I haven’t yet made myself clear, I am a strong supporter of end of life options. I embrace the possibility of a gentle death for myself, we know with certainty I’m not going to get better – every week that passes becomes more challenging.  My daughter and many close friends have made it known that they understand and support my position on the matter. The difficult events of the past week (a meeting with my palliative support team, and numerous conversations leading up to it) have only strengthened my conviction for a gentle death to be an option available for all Canadians at end of life.

Recent announcements by the Ontario government suggest that this province may soon follow in Quebec’s footsteps (where introduction of the bill to the legislature was welcomed with a standing ovation) in bringing forth legislation to permit physician assisted death. I applaud this move, as do many other Canadians if the polls are accurate.

Wherever you sit on this issue, I would encourage you to watch a movie entitled “How to Die in Oregon”. Not yet available on Netflix Canada, but it can be rented/purchased on iTunes. If you’re visiting me and want to see it, I have a copy and would watch the movie again. I’ll provide the tissues.

Even if physician assisted death is not what you would choose for yourself, is it something that as a society we want to deny to those who are suffering with terminal illness who desire a gentle end to their suffering?

I’m not even sure if a physician assisted death is what I would choose for myself if it were available, but I would find great comfort in knowing that it was legally available should I feel unable to tolerate the circumstances of my illness any longer.

This is a contentious issue, and I wish no disrespect to anyone whose personal beliefs are contrary to my own. I do ask however to be respected for my own experiences of walking in these shoes. When the rubber hits the road, you may (and perhaps unexpectedly so) find yourself wanting to have options available to you should you be dealt a terminal prognosis coupled with unrelenting pain and suffering.