Score!

One very rocky night for pain tonight, I gave in to the lure of the Zofran/Toradol cocktail. The first pill to keep the second one down, the latter following fifteen minutes later in hopes that within an hour I’ll have been given a slight bit of pain relief.

Each time I take this cocktail it’s a game of pro vs. con. Pro?  A bit of pain relief, it even comes with a boost to my appetite for a couple of hours. The con, Toradol is simply wicked on the stomach. Although the Zofran helps with the nausea that hits soon after  ingestion, the day afterwards I have to be prepared for moderate to severe stomach pain.

Every day I weigh the trade-off, and I’m usually on the losing end. In most cases I regret having taken a chance on pain relief and therefore most days go without. Tonight, I went for it – the alternative wasn’t looking so pretty.

Pain management has been a challenge to say the least. I might have mentioned in an earlier post that I have an anaphylactic allergy to opioid medications (pretty much anything that works well on pain), leaving nothing very effective on the table for me to try.

I’ve been blessed with a high tolerance for pain, even after bone surgery I requested nothing stronger than a regular Tylenol. However this is no regular pain that I deal with day in and day out. Tonight the cat snuggled in as the pain got worse, I feared I might drown him with the tears streaming uncontrollably down my face if I didn’t down my cocktail. My friends, we had a solid “8.5” on the pain scale of 1-10.

I’m smiling as I type this (and with this you may gather that tonight the cocktail helped) undoubtedly one or two you might wonder if an alternative pain reliever might be effective. If we’re on the same page, the answer to the question you might ask is yes. I have indeed tried marijuana for pain relief. It’s surprising to me how many people have helpfully (and sometimes in the most humorous of ways) let me know that they could help connect me to a trial dose.

The first try was about eighteen months ago. Imagine the scenario – in my late forties trying weed for the very first time. Not that it wasn’t around me when I was younger, there was ample opportunity to smoke up. I just chose not to, it wasn’t for me. One bout of alcohol intoxication at sixteen taught me that I didn’t care for the feeling of losing control of what I was doing.

My first high was quite the experience. I was at one end of a Skype call with my daughter, she wanted to make sure that I wasn’t on my own and could call for assistance if I had a bad reaction.

I kept my daughter amply amused. I was convinced that the back of my head had turned to mud, and that I’d developed a magical talent for saying words before I’d actually thought them. I think you had to be there, but for my daughter it was raucous entertainment.

The second time didn’t go well. I became so very sad over something I couldn’t even pinpoint. I imagined that perhaps it might be what depression feels like, and it felt simply awful. A feeling I didn’t want to repeat. And neither experiment provided any pain relief anyway.

As the pain increased, I was talked into trying marijuana one more time this past summer – this time legal medical grade supply. I was told that the high might feel different than the last time, it might in turn provide better results for pain relief.

We (I had two accomplices who were taking great delight in bearing witness in hopes that I might break out in goofiness exceeding what I experienced on my first try) snuck outside on a beautiful summer evening. By then I’d already developed difficulty in sitting up for more than a few minutes, and they arranged me on a lounge chair so I could recline. I’m rethinking the “snuck” part of that sentence, it’s been impossible for me to sneak anywhere unnoticed for quite some time. Lumbered outside? How dainty!

I did not disappoint them. I announced I was having “thoughtful thoughts” interrupted by periods of having no thought in my head whatsoever. For anyone who knows me, that’s quite an absurd concept! Ask me anytime what I’m thinking and I will never, ever say “nothing”. Except it would seem when I’m high.

The helpful offers to “score some pain relief” continue to pour in. Thank you, it’s kind that so many would like to be of service in easing my pain. I’m sincerely grateful. And so many offers to share the experience with me! Thank you for such thoughtfulness <grin>