My daughter arrived home on Sunday, we’ve had a wonderful time catching up. It’s amazing how quickly we’ve fallen back in pace with each other.
But boy, she sure brought a lot of stuff from school! Finding a place for everything is an exercise in planning, motivation and execution. We could use a touch more of the motivation part, but for now we’re trying to balance enjoying our time together with the chores. Well, her chores. I’m not a lot of help, a backseat unpacker shall we say?
Looking at this as a long term arrangement requires far more than just the desire to spend this time together. We need to be flexible, understanding, compassionate (towards each each other as well as to ourselves) and patient.
In addition to looking after me, my daughter will need to take care of herself and what’s important to her. It will be at my insistence that she gets out (beyond the part-time job she returns to tomorrow) to visit her friends, go on outings, or maybe just sit on a park bench to give herself time alone with her thoughts.
We need to take cues from each other, both verbal and non-verbal.
Did you ever play the game of drawing something on a piece of paper, guided only by the physical description of the item coming from someone who isn’t allowed to use gestures or say the name of what it is or what it’s used for? We’ve had this sort of comical exchange several times already over the last few days. The most common scenario; she in one room, me in the other as I try to explain where an item is stored as best as I can remember its location in the apartment.
Although we’re very close and communicate quite well, it’s amazing how four semesters at school for her, and a steep decline in independence for me has brought about the need for some new vocabulary between us.
What thankfully hasn’t changed is what a hand stretched out towards me across the bed means. Mom, I need a hand hug. And my darling, a hand hug is what you shall have as we do our best to get through this together.
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