Dear Body…

Dear Sandy’s Body,

I’ll admit to being somewhat peeved with your behaviour this week. I thought we had a deal, and you don’t seem to be holding up your end of the agreement. I feel I need to bring this matter to your attention; if you don’t know of my displeasure then I can’t be upset if you’re negligent in trying to address the issue.

When we were diagnosed with Erdheim Chester Disease, I agreed to go through whatever pain and disability you were planning to drag me through (which I might add you’re adding on a bit thick lately and pushing the boundaries!) if you allowed me one thing. An appetite for chocolate.

I even caved a bit on this request recently by adding a clause that I would agree to take additional medications to settle your stomach, and you know how much I detest feeding you drugs.

I thought we had a done a reasonably good job of keeping you in good shape. Pretty much alcohol free (there’s no need to mention that one episode of drunkenness when we were sixteen, is there? And there was that birthday party for a friend a few years ago where we learned that two glasses of wine, a staircase and high heeled shoes do not a safe combination make).

We kept prescription and over-the-counter meds to the absolute minimum, and outside of the recent (and publically documented) experimentation with marijuana to settle you down, no illicit drugs. Not on purpose anyway, there was that one time in high school where we believed that we were being given a caffeine pill by a friend to help keep us awake when trying to do both full-time school and an almost full-time job at a department store (bedding department, some wild stories from those days!) at the same time. Turned out it was amphetamines and we didn’t sleep for three days. Scared me straight, I tell ya.

Until you readjusted our internal clock last year, you could depend on me for setting aside a solid eight hours per night to refresh you. I still dedicate that time to you every night; it’s been your choice to not take advantage of the opportunity.

Although not obsessive about exercise, we got some great workouts  especially in the years prior to the diagnosis. Not only did running around after little children as we photographed them get our heart rate up, it also filled our heart with joy.

On that note, I’ve tried to do my best for our emotional health as well. God knows we’ve been tested in that arena with life’s challenges, but I wasn’t afraid to listen to different perspectives to learn how to soothe our soul.

We went on some lovely trips over the years. Europe, Australia,  across North America and most importantly, across our beloved country. We traveled to every province at least once, I apologize for not getting us to the territories. It almost happened two years ago when we were invited to photograph a trek in the Arctic to raise funds for Rare Disease issues, you know how that turned out. What can I say, spirit was willing…  Chocolate may or may not have had a role in easing the disappointment.

So what’s the deal? It’s not as if I want it all the time. In moderation, we had agreed that a small daily ration would be tolerated.

How is it that in the last few days we’re turning our face away from our one indulgence? Not only that, being denied the healthy stuff too. It took forty eight years for us and yogurt to see eye to eye, and we could barely swallow a few spoonfuls this afternoon before asking my daughter to take it away.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate the nice things you give us. For instance, there’s a beautifully fresh smelling breeze kicking about in our room today, thank you for allowing us to feel wind in our hair this afternoon.

I would appreciate it if you would kindly take these points under consideration, my sense is that I’m not asking a great deal of you. However, perhaps you have altered the plan without consulting me and I ask to review the changes with you before further action ensues.

Respectfully,

Me