On Cloud Nine!

Kineret. Arriving by Wednesday at the latest.

Just had a conversation with the drug company liaison (am I ever glad I picked up the call coming from an unidentified telephone number at 9 pm on a Friday night, something at times I'd let go to voicemail suspecting a telemarketer).

I can't believe this is actually going to happen after a wait of almost a year. I can't tell you how badly I needed this news, it's been a tough few weeks. I'd made the decision to (hopefully temporarily) shut down my portrait photography business, and had let my clients know about two weeks ago.

Some very thoughtful clients sent wonderfully supportive notes, but I must say - there were a few responses that really soured what was already quite a painful exercise for me. Several individuals to whom I'd donated portrait packages annually to support their favourite local charities tried really hard to make me feel bad for not being able to donate another package this season. Couldn't I commit to mustering the energy to do just one session in the spring? For just a few hours? (my photographer friends would cringe, no session is just a few hours - most of the work comes afterwards).

Oh, and if I couldn't deliver a portrait session - could I donate something of a similar value ($200 - $500) in its place? Maybe you missed the part about me not working anymore, that also means no income for a self-employed photographer without employment insurance.

And the best one of all. After at least three years of promises "we want to book you very soon for a session, we really love your work!" (emailed to me at least three or four times a year), I received an email right after my announcement in my monthly newsletter saying " that's a shame, we're finally ready to book - can you refer me to another photographer?" Ouch!

The latter part of this post was what I was originally going to write tonight to all of you, it had just been too hard to say right away. My photography means everything to me, I hope that has come across in previous posts. It had just become too hard to hold my camera to my eye for any length of time, and a session would wipe me out for days afterwards. And I'd become so unreliable for a booking, resting up for a few days prior just wasn't working anymore. And I detest being unreliable, but that's my story these days.

But there's hope. I really believe that Kineret will do wonders for me. That I'll be able to work again in a few months. That I'll be able to walk further than a half a block again. That I'll start sleeping again without pain waking me up in the wee hours. That I just might feel a little more like my old self again. Because these days I often lose sight of what normal felt like. I know I'm asking for the world, but just maybe I might get a slice of something great coming my way.