My Apple Tree and Other Broken Stuff

Almost two years ago I wrote a post about the apple tree that sits not far from my bedroom window. A tree that's special to me, it's also had its share of indignities cast upon it during the few years we've been living here.

I've been looking forward to the luscious aroma of apple blossoms that comes forth every April, telling me that spring is truly here. Time to throw the windows open and welcome the freshness indoors. Well, it ain't that kind of spring this year! It's snowed twice today. Nothing that sticks to the ground, but enough that we're all moaning that instead we should be getting out the short sleeved shirts and shorts - not hanging on to our parkas and turtlenecks!

It's also been very windy over the last week, gusts that make the house moan and creak. On on especially windy night earlier this week I heard a large crackle just as my husband was coming up the stairs to bed. I called out to make sure he was okay, but he'd not taken a tumble down the steps thankfully and I chalked the noise up to a garbage can blowing around outside.

The next morning as I was looking out at my apple tree as I always do, I was shocked to view what must have been the source of the noise the previous night. A couple of substantial limbs had been sheared off and lay close to the trunk.

Normally I'd just think this quite sad that such a beautiful tree had been damaged - but this is MY tree. The tree that I'd hoped would recover from previous damage, just as I had hoped at the time I wrote my earlier post that I would recover from the damage to my body. We were in this together!

The timing of this really hit me hard, it was just a day after we'd been to the hospital to review the results of tests and scans that I've undergone over the last few weeks. My illness is advancing. The bone lesions are spreading up my leg and into my hip, and my aorta now has involvement as well.

My tree and I are both not doing well. And in that same post of almost two years ago I wrote about having to postpone my dream trip to the Big Apple. And finally I must accept that it'll likely never happen. And sometimes when you can't have something it seems like it's all you can think about.

And as I finish up this post, it's snowing again. Not just snow, it's almost blizzard-ish. I think I'll just go back to bed and pull the sheets up over my head. 'Cause it's just that kind of a week.