We Got There…

This post goes out not a minute prior to 9:38 p.m. EDT. I’m afraid to jinx something so very important to me.

For those friends who were quiet on my birthday, my heartfelt thanks for honouring my request. For those who reached out to me with cards, emails, phone calls and other surprises – I dearly thank you as well. I appreciate the thoughtfulness from all in respecting that Suzanna and I were “off the grid” yesterday in not answering the phone, door or checking in on line.

It was our day, and it was amazing. I didn't go any further than the ten feet to the bathroom, yet easily my most fabulous birthday ever thanks to my daughter.

Today it’s her birthday, her twentieth. She’s out celebrating with friends tonight, and hopefully having a wonderful time. I can’t wait to hear the highlights of the evening when she rolls in at, well, whenever she’s ready to roll in.

Turning twenty isn’t typically one of the more celebrated milestones. At eighteen she could vote (and adopt a child apparently!), at nineteen legally drink. She’s looking forward to her champagne birthday when she turns twenty three.

Twenty is an important one to me for a different reason. I just couldn’t bear the thought of leaving behind a daughter while she was in her teens, and if this post goes up tonight – it means that we made it.

In many ways she had to become a responsible adult well before now due to our circumstances (whatever the legal interpretation of adult might be), she’s had many experiences that few her age can relate to. She’s risen to the occasion time and time again.

Yet despite her maturity, the “teen” at the end of her year of age had riddled me with anxiety. I’ve had this hanging over my head for months, would I still be here to see this milestone? What would it take to be here with her today? Would I have failed her if I wasn’t?

Whatever blessings, faith. determination and luck were at play, I’m privileged to be able to wish my beautiful and amazing, no-longer-a-teenager as of 9:38 p.m., grownup daughter a birthday to remember fondly.