Self Admissions

I detest admitting that I'm sick. But ECD has slapped me around a bit the last few weeks, and just maybe it's time to realize that I shouldn't push myself so hard. I think I've said this before but maybe it's high time I had a serious chat with myself. And actually followed through.

I'm eight weeks into my twelve week Kineret trial, and decided today that I definitely want to keep taking it beyond the trial period. Now comes the funding nightmare, but the upside is that the drug company is helping me this time. I suspect that their voice is much louder than mine!

Kineret has helped greatly with my mobility, and now with the bone pain (I've hardly had any the past week!) The cardiac issues are something else, but maybe Kineret needs more time. Or I need to stop pushing those boundaries so hard.

Although it felt great at the time, shovelling the snow a few weeks back seems to have set off weeks of misery. What the heck did I do to myself? I'd been doing so well in the first few weeks of Kineret, did I undo all that in just one hour?

I've made a promise to my family. No more lifting, no more "let me do it!", and most definitely no more shovelling. No more of anything that feels like it just might be more than I should be doing.

Give the inflammation in my heart a chance to settle down, to let Kineret do its thing. To hopefully breathe more normally again (talking on most days this past week sets off a round of coughing that leaves me gasping for air). Not to mention the tremors that have kicked in too. What an adventure one night last week trying to get food on my fork, and then fork to mouth. I came way too close to asking someone else at the table to feed me so I didn't leave the table hungry.

My doctor called this morning (on his day off no less) to let me know I'd be at the hospital longer than usual tomorrow. He didn't want to say just yet what tests were being lined up, but I'm ready to know more about the extent of the ECD in my body.

Not only ready, I need to know.