In a Holding Pattern

I love getting mail. Yup, even the bills - crazy me. And there's a letter I'm anxiously awaiting, a decision from our insurance company letting us know whether they'll cover a portion of the cost of Enbrel.

It's been a busy time. First I met with a new doctor, a rheumatologist who was the one to give the final approval for me to try this drug. Lots of tests afterwards to make sure that I didn't have additional pre-existing conditions that would take me out of the running for this experiment.

Next - a slew of paperwork for the insurance company. The application itself, with supporting letters from my doctors to explain their reasoning for wanting to try this drug on me. The letters were forwarded to me first, and then in turn sent to the insurance company. Not gonna lie, those letters were hard to digest. It's one thing to be told you have a serious illness, it's another to see it all spelled out on paper. And I do mean all spelled out - the extent of my illness along with the prognosis. Ouch. Plus we had to attach a list of all the drugs prescribed by my pharmacy over the last year - it was disconcerting to see just how long that list was.

Next, discussions with the pharmaceutical company. They have quite an extensive support program for patients taking Enbrel. Unfortunately I'm not eligible for many services because I'll be using Enbrel "off-label" (for a condition it's not intended to treat). But, I can speak to a nurse 24/7 if I have any questions or concerns and that's reassuring. Plus, they sent me a pretty neat welcome kit with a travel cooler bag (Enbrel needs to be kept refrigerated), alcohol wipes and a sharps container for used syringes. And an instructional DVD - but I refuse to watch it until I know for sure that this is a go.

Then today I received a call from a nurse at my hospital who'll be teaching me how to self-inject, and will supervise my first few shots to ensure that I'm doing it right.

And everything now rides on whether my insurance company will help us out. So everyday I wait to see what the mail brings. And I have a strong feeling that this drug will do good things. Fingers crossed, toes crossed. I'd even cross my wonky white blood cells if I knew how; that's the least those little devils could do for all the trouble they're causing me!