Consumed or Oblivious

I had another good day today physically which allowed me to go on a drive searching for photo opportunities. The fall colours are coming in nicely, the roads are quiet during the week which makes pulling over to the side to take photos much easier.

These drives usually provide me with an opportunity to forget about my health issues for a few hours, or rarely - as it was today - take my brain to places I don't like to visit. Not five minutes before finding this gaggle of geese, I came across at least half a dozen turkey vultures attacking what was left of a raccoon on the side of the road. My mind was going to all the wrong places today from the get-go, and seeing the vultures ravage the carcass caused me to think about how my illness lays little mercy upon me these days.

Then the geese. I've passed this farm many times and often hear the geese honking but this was the first time that they'd put themselves in view. I thought about how much I'd like to fly away and leave my illness behind, if even just for a day for a most welcome respite. But it's impossible to escape. Taking meds four times a day sets the tone. Have to eat with this pill, don't eat with that one - don't even think of drinking any alcohol while on the other...

I think what set me off today was forgetting my morning pills, the most important ones not to forget. I was an hour late - I had actually forgotten for several hours after waking today that I was ill and I was simultaneously delighted at having put it out of my mind and at the same time scared. My pharmacist had been so specific about not getting off track with my morning doses. No harm done, it was only an hour off schedule - but what if I'd gone on my long drive today without having remembered? What if I'd had a reaction when I was on one of those lonely country roads?

It's sometimes just all too much, too complicated, and it at times leaves me resentful. But not so resentful that I'd subject you to a photo of the turkey vultures at their feast. The rear ends of geese are better, don't you think?