Is a picture worth a thousand words?

Over the last months I've had to spend lots of time resting. Not really what I'm good at to be honest, I'm much happier getting things done, usually multi-tasking. My husband has said that I seem to thrive on organized chaos and he's not far off base.

It's almost impossible for me to just lie there resting, as I had to for almost three months straight following my bone surgery in February. I'm very glad that I once again invested in a laptop when it was time to replace my computer last year, it was a godsend to be able to continue communicating with family, friends and clients.

I got hooked on listening to photography related podcasts, there are several I can recommend if you're interested in this sort of thing. This evening as I was resting (those steroids are taking their toll and I had to slow down a bit today) I caught up on a recent episode of "The Candid Frame"; this one an interview with photographer Douglas Kirkland (links at the bottom of this post).

Mr. Kirkland has had a rich and fascinating career, and there was one part of the interview that particularly caught my attention this evening. He was speaking to his process of getting to know his subject so that he could accurately portray them when he captured their image.

Now, as a portrait photographer myself I pride myself on getting to know my client with the same intention. Asking lots of questions before the session, trying to get a feel for how they would prefer to be portrayed.

As I listened to this interview it struck me that in my quest to have another photographer take our family photo (always having camera in hand I'm rarely on the other end of the lens) I need to think about this issue. And I'm thrown. How do I want to be remembered when my family looks at these photos after I'm no longer here? How had I not thought about this before now?

The vain part of me want to hold off until after steroid treatment (those steroid-induced chipmunk cheeks are taking over my face, despite my husband telling me that they're pinchably cute I don't want to be photographed right now), but it's not just about what I'll look like. What will my family & loved ones see in my eyes in these photos?

It's not like I've forgotten that this illness doesn't come with a happy ending. I know that unless a wayward bus and a moment of inattention catch me sooner, this illness will take my life.

Today for the very first time I thought about how people I know might have some judgement to pass about me after I'm gone. Will they say I was a loving person? Will they think that I did my best at whatever I attempted? Wishful thinking on my part. Certainly not all thoughts will be positive, I'm well aware of my numerous faults and quirks and I'm not done yet trying to be a better person in this lifetime.

How do I ask a photographer to catch the truth of who I am when I'm not sure of the answer to that myself yet?

http://www.douglaskirkland.com/
http://thecandidframe.blogspot.com/