Admit it. We've all thought about it. What would I do if I were diagnosed with a serious illness and heard that I would have a shorter time on earth than generally anticipated? Travel to places I've always wanted to visit? Try daring sports and activities (sky diving, anyone?) Meet a person whom I really admire?
There's no right answer of course, and everyone will have their own "bucket list". Maybe you'd be physically limited in some way, maybe finances would be an issue, and maybe you'd just change your mind if this really happened to you (and I pray that you never find yourself in this situation).
Straight up - yes, I hate being in the position where I have to think about this.
It was an acid test. Was I truly as happy as I thought I was before my diagnosis? Did I have regrets, important tasks undone, a life not truly lived? I found myself overjoyed (after having had time to digest my diagnosis, that's a post for another day) to find that my bucket list is truly very short. My life was wonderful before the diagnosis, and will continue to be great in many ways. It's not a charmed life in the traditional sense, we struggle with many of the issues that families deal with. But we're a family, and I know that through the best and worst of the road ahead we'll be getting through this together. For that I'm grateful beyond words.
I look in the mirror, and although I sometimes have a hard time taking in what I see happening to my body in the purely physical sense - in my eyes I see who I am. That part hasn't changed, and maybe I see that more clearly than ever.
As for that bucket list? More on that later. Trust me, it's short (but sweet!) What's on your list?
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
I admire the fact that your bucket list is short. I am not sure what would be on my list because unless I really had to face my mortality I am not sure what would be imperative and what things would fall away. Would it be travel or spending time with friends and family? Blogging like you are doing or writing a novel about my experience? Hum, there's an idea. You give me lots to think about because although I am only 51I imagine I have decades more here on earth. I have a photograph of my mom taken when I was 14. She seems so much older but she was only 52, the age I am now.
ReplyDeleteLoved this post. That your "bucket list" is short speaks volumes about you and family. You are truly to be envied. As for what would be on my list, here's what I've come up with... so far:
ReplyDelete1. Make a pilgrimage to Jerusalem and Stonehenge.
2. Write a really psychotic piece of fiction.
3. Eat a meal good enough to be my last, and not worry about the numbers on the right side of the menu.
4. Write a letter to everyone I love.
5. Do something to piss off everyone I can't stand.
Yeah, I know... I'm working on the other five.